The Tale of the Bright Star

(also known as ”If You Knew My Story,” also known as "What the Hale?")

Just this past weekend, I had one of the absolute BEST, most incredible audition experiences of my career. I walked in armed to the teeth with a song that was made for me. This audition was a combined audition for two shows, so I figured I had double the chances of making something. I definitely couldn't afford to be picky at all; I just wanted to get cast in a show at one of the most phenomenal theater companies in Utah. With that desire came an absolute terror, because we all know anything can happen in an audition, from forgotten lyrics to unanticipated vocal cracks. When my turn came, I sang strong and with all my heart. The accompanist told me to keep going past my 16 bars, which was funny because I honestly didn't know the song past the 16 bars! But I remembered what I heard from the cast recording and was able to sing the rest of the line successfully! When it was over, I felt SO pleased because I knew I performed my absolute best. When our group finished, the fellas behind the desk called me and a couple of other really talented auditioners over and asked us to stick around and sing our songs AGAIN! And then, I saw one of them put a bright gold star sticker on my resume. 🙂 I felt like melting into the floor with joy. I collected my music from the pianist and he grasped my hand and told me I did a fantastic job. I felt like melting into the floor again, oozing happiness, confidence, and reassurance I hadn't felt in a while. I was even more terrified to sing my song the second time around, but I ended up singing it even BETTER than the first time! I was overjoyed as I walked out, knowing I did my very best and had experienced one of the most incredible moments ever in an audition. 🙂
My heart stopped a few days later when the callback list posted. I couldn't WAIT to see my name there among the other brilliant stars who frequented that theater. But, my name was missing. I must have scanned that list five times. No Jamie Haderlie, not for either show, not even for the ensemble.
This was one of the best audition experiences of my career and one of the greatest learning experiences I've ever had. It's summed up in a quote from Patrick Stewart playing Jean-Luc Picard: "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life." This is the ultimate mantra for the working actor. You can do your very best and still not get cast. That is never a weakness; that is life. And all it means is there's something else out there for you: a role you were meant to play. You just have to keep going for it, and never doubt that you have what it takes. This is 100% not a diss toward the theater at all; I know they had reasons for not casting me, and I'm going to still keep trying to get cast at that magnificent theater company. 🙂 But one of the greatest things this experience has taught me is not to focus on the sometimes disappointing result, but to focus on what will never be taken back. I got a bright gold star and an enthusiastic compliment from a talented accompanist at one of the best theater companies in Utah. And I get to take those with me on every audition I go to, and they'll never be taken away. 🙂